Deja Vu

I'll admit it.  I was a nervous wreck this morning.  A mix of excitement and feeling like I was going to vomit.  We dropped Gavin off at preschool and were on our way to Nashville for our consultation appointment when the most beautiful thing happened...it started snowing.  No forecast predicted it.  It just happened.  Suddenly, the nerves went away and we drove on through our own little snow globe.

When we arrived at the clinic, it felt like we never left.  We walked in and were welcomed by many familiar faces.  It speaks to how much time we've spent at Nashville Fertility Center --- five whole years.  These folks are family to us.

First, we met with our cycle nurse, Tina.  She took a few vitals (BP 100/72, Pulse 84) and reviewed my medical history.  Soon after, Dr. Hill came in.  He greeted me with a hug and jumped right in to his ideas for this next cycle.  But, before we can officially start, he expressed a few concerns stemming from Gavin's delivery.

When Gavin was born, he came via c-section after I labored for 18+ hours.  Within a few hours of his birth, I suffered a severe postpartum hemorrhage, which required a blood transfusion of 2 units and an emergency D&C.  The dilation and curettage (D&C) was done to manage my excessive bleeding.  A possible complication of performing a D&C after pregnancy is intrauterine adhesions.  Adhesions (areas of scar tissue) can sometimes form in the uterus after this procedure.  In some cases, it can lead to infertility or miscarriage.

See, our only option for pregnancy is through IVF, due to Jake having Cystic Fibrosis.  CF has lots of complications, with one being the absence of a vas deferens, aka natural vasectomy.  Great for birth control (Sorry Mom!) but not so great when we want to make a baby.  To hear that I, too, may have an obstacle affecting my fertility is not the news we were hoping for.

So, when my time of the month rolls around in a few days, I will be immediately scheduled for a sonohysterogram.  This is an outpatient procedure designed to help the doctor check my endometrial cavity (the inside part of the uterus) and endometrium (the lining of the endometrial cavity). A saline solution is slowly injected into the uterus to examine through ultrasound.  The saline helps distend the uterine cavity and improves the ultrasound image quality, providing a more detailed view.  He will look for scarring inside the uterus (adhesions) from the D&C, abnormal growths/masses or an abnormal shape/structure.

If adhesions are extensive, surgery will be planned to remove them.  Additional hormone treatment may also begin to help to encourage growth of healthy uterine tissue.  But, I'm not going to elaborate on the surgery or hormones.  Instead, I'm focusing my energy on praying this is not the case.  I pray he will find a clean slate and perfectly lined uterus ready to hold a pregnancy.

Like every appointment, I couldn't leave without a little bit of blood work.  They tested my TSH and DHEAS levels, both of which play vital roles in fertility, pregnancy and IVF.  Results should be back within the next week.

Despite the whirlwind of this appointment, we left feeling really optimistic.  Jake keeps me laughing, so a bad day is nearly impossible.  We know God's got this.

I can do hard things.

Here We Go Again

I'm utterly embarrassed by the length of time that's passed since I last wrote.  I was in my second trimester, May 2012, to be exact.  Well, it's a good representation of a) how quickly pregnancy flies by & b) how crazy busy life gets with a little one.  But, I wouldn't trade this life for anything else in the world.  

Here's a recap + an update on our recent happenings:

Gavin Blake was born on November 16, 2012.  He shocked the doctors (and us!) measuring 9 lb 6 oz and 21.5 inches long.  He quickly earned the nickname, "Tank".

The answer to our prayers

SO much cuteness in that bucket!

Gavin is now 2 years old.  We enjoy lots & lots of laughs with this sweet boy.  It seems he grows by the minute.  He has my smile & chubby cheeks, but most of all, his Daddy's drop dead gorgeous eyes.  Somehow, he's also in the 70th percentile for height.  So, I'm bracing myself to be the shortest member of the Bachman family in just a few short years.

November 2014
Our little monkey had a Curious George themed party to celebrate turning TWO!

Fall 2014

The holidays are more fun than ever before.  It's incredible to see Christmas through the eyes of a child.  Birthdays are a Pinterest-explosion of fun.  Honestly, we treat most days like special occasions, since lots of them involve cookies "just because".  

Christmas 2014

For the past year, we have been praying for God's guidance in the timing of our next IVF cycle.  Many times circumstances would arise showing us the time isn't right.  We had originally planned to start last Fall.  Shortly after this decision, Jake was hospitalized for over two weeks with a very severe virus.   Thankfully, he made a full recovery, but we decided take it easy through the end of the year before starting another cycle. 

It's now February 2015.  We feel ready to get the ball rolling.  Gavin adores babies and keeps asking for a "brudder".  We will meet with our specialist at Nashville Fertility Center tomorrow morning for an initial consultation for round #5.  It's hard to believe we've made it this far.  (Fun fact: I was absolutely petrified of needles when we started.  500+ injections later, I'm a Pro!) Our plan is to do as many cycles as we can with the three frozen embryos we have in storage.  Gavin was a successful single embryo transfer, which is pretty unheard of.  Most clinics transfer at least two.  We are prepared this may be suggested to us this time around.  

I have tons of questions for the doctor.  I'm sure he'll have tons for me.  After all, it has been 3 years since we were in his office.  There will be tons of testing over the next few months.  I'm anticipating a rush of emotions walking back through those doors.  So much of our life has happened there.  It's where we mourned the loss of our first child.  But, it's where we celebrated the success of our 4th cycle -- Gavin.  

We are blessed beyond measure, no matter the outcome.  Thanks for walking with us through this wild journey.  You mean the world to our family.

Love Never Fails

Hard to believe that my last post was in December.  But, boy what a difference a few months can make!

Let's rewind a little to bring you up to speed on our happenings....

We kicked off 2012 with another frozen IVF cycle.  With this cycle, we began with the usual protocol of Lupron sub-q injections to suppress my system.  Then, we transitioned to Progesterone in Oil and Estradiol Valerate intramuscular injections in February.  These injections served as "boosters" to the hormones I was already producing.  After speaking with our Dr., we decided to transfer a single embryo on February 28, leaving us with 3 more frozen embryos for future cycles.  Following the embryo transfer, I was placed on bed rest for 3 days.  Hubby hooked me up with Netflix on our bedroom tv, along with picking up all of my favorite snacks.  I have to admit that it was quite an oasis.

Two weeks later, we headed to Nashville Fertility Center for our pregnancy test.  Our appointment was at 11:30 a.m. and we were told that we would have the results by 4 p.m.  To kill time during the agonizing wait, we grabbed lunch at Ted's Montana Grill in West End, where I had the BEST cheeseburger ever.  Seriously, I still dream about it.  It was that delicious.  We spent the rest of the afternoon strolling around Nashville and even stopped in to browse for awhile at Antique Archaeology.

At 4:17 p.m., the phone rang and we got the news we've been praying for....WE'RE PREGNANT!  We went in twice more that week for additional blood tests to make sure that my beta levels were rising as they should.  Thankfully, they rose perfectly!

Here is the first picture of our little peanut, taken at our 6 week visit to Nashville Fertility Center.  During this visit, we heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time.  Words cannot describe how incredible that moment was.

I am now 10 1/2 weeks pregnant with our little miracle baby.  We said goodbye to the NFC staff on April 9 and are now officially in the care of an OB.  Our first OB appointment was this morning and our little peanut is doing great!  He/she wiggled like crazy on the ultrasound and is measuring right on track.

After 3 years of IVF cycles and hundreds upon hundreds of injections, everything has fallen right into place.  This was all in his timing, not my own.

So, this is what it feels like to have everything I've ever wanted.  Thank you, Lord, for this blessing.  I'll say it again...Love never fails.

Hey Sperm, Meet Egg

The last few days have been c-r-a-z-y in the Bachman house! 

Thursday was my egg retrieval. Feeling full and anxious to get this procedure out of the way, I bopped into the surgery center around 9 a.m. Totally determined not to get sick, I came in prepared with acupuncture buttons on both wrists to help combat nausea. The actual procedure went smoothly but I did get super sick afterwards and ended up being rolled out of the restroom on a stretcher. So, they kept me an extra 2 hours for monitoring and pumped me with more IV fluids. A total of 28 eggs were retrieved.

I wanted to share the following website: http://www.advancedfertility.com/aspiration.htm  It gives a great explanation of the egg retrieval procedure and even includes a short video clip of what it looks like on ultrasound.

Yesterday, we received a phone call with a fertilization update.  Of the 28 retrieved, 22 of them were mature, meaning they were able to attempt fertilization via ICSI. However, only 7 actually fertilized. Initially, it was hard not to be discouraged by these stats but we are reminding ourselves that it only takes one. The growth of the 7 embryos would then be monitored over the next 24 hours to determine whether we will have a day 3 or day 5 embryo transfer. There are higher success rates with a day 5 transfer, since the embryo has developed into a blastocyst at this point.

Let's fast forward 24 hours...bringing us to today! We checked our IVF voicemail box about an hour ago and had a message from the embryologist. We both took a deep breath and pressed play. We were told that all 7 of our embryos are still growing!  So, we are scheduled for a Day 5 transfer on Tuesday.   Praise God! 

One Day Closer

Another monitoring visit in the books. My estradiol level is 5,217 and am still feeling pretty good. I've met the requirement of having at least 5 follicles that measure 18 mm.

:::Drum roll:::

It's game time!

Tonight, at 11 p.m. I will have 2 injections of hCG (Ovidrel) -- 1 entire syringe and the other just 1/2. This is called the "trigger shot". It is timed precisely to coincide with the final maturation of the follicles. When this shot is given, those follicles release their eggs.

Screen shot of a few of the follicles on my left ovary.  Looks like a honeycomb, right?

Then, I get ONE FULL DAY of zero shots. That's right...an entire day of not being poked. During this time, my estradiol level will continue to go up and I'll go back tomorrow morning for another round of bloodwork to check it. So, we're hoping it doesn't go up too high making me sick. My egg retrieval is set for Thursday morning at 10 a.m.. No turning back now.

We can't wait until Thursday! Finally, we will get to find out how many eggs they retrieve, how many are mature and then how many fertilize. Big decisions and big excitement coming over the next week.

Thank you all so much for keeping us in your prayers. It means more than you know.  

Please, let this be the cycle that brings us the child that we've prayed so hard for.

Monday, Monday

We're seriously debating the purchase of a jet to get us back & forth to Nashville in lightning speed.  Ok, not really.  But, we can dream.  Maybe we can borrow Reba's helicopter.

This morning's appointment went well.  It was yet another monitoring visit to see how my follicles are developing and to check my estradiol level.  Thankfully, my estradiol level is still in the "safe" zone at 3,664 -- tripling since Saturday.  We are on day 10 of stimulating medications.  It was on this day in our previous fresh cycle that my E2 surged and caused me to become so sick.  So, we're counting our blessings that I seem to be in the clear thus far.  

I am growing follicles aplenty.  Jake was in charge of writing down the sizes of each as they were measured via ultrasound.  He ended up using every inch of that piece of paper, as we counted 36.  Yes, 3 dozen.  The folllicles measured on average between 16-17 mm each.  

I have been instructed to tweak my FSH dosage tonight -- reducing back to 75 units of Gonal-F.  Still on the 3 injections per day.  But, the Dr. wants to decrease my FSH for at least the next 24 hours, making sure that the follicles continue to grow but not too much that they would cause a spike in my estradiol level.

Back again to Nashville in the a.m. for hopefully our last monitoring visit.  Tomorrow's findings will determine when the egg retrieval will take place.  As of right now, they are looking at Wednesday or Thursday for this procedure.  

Just Another Saturday Morning During IVF

We went in for my 3rd IVF monitoring appointment this morning. Although we were a little grumpy that we didn't get to sleep in, it was nice having very few cars on the road during our quick trip to Nashville. Zoomed in and zoomed out. 

Everything continues to look good. My estradiol level has risen to 1296. I have more than 10 eggs on each ovary, measuring over 10 mm. Most are around 12 mm. Still instructed to continue on the same dosage -- 150 units of Gonal-F, 75 units Menopur, 5 units Lupron and 1 mg Dexamethasone -- through Monday morning.

Because of the crazy number of eggs that are developing, I'm becoming more uncomfortable each day. Hubby has noticed my "waddle" walk lately. I'm starting to notice a change in my energy level, due to the surge in hormones. I can't believe I fell asleep at 7 p.m. last night. In between my hibernation, I'm staying busy with craft projects and Lifetime movie marathons.

I'm scheduled for another visit on Monday at 9:30 a.m. We are looking for my estradiol level to increase, but not get too high, while the eggs grow to their mature size of 18 mm. As soon as we have more than 5 eggs reach the 18 mm size, it'll be go time for the egg retrieval! Based on the growth pattern so far, it looks promising that the retrieval will happen on Wednesday.

Here's to making it 'til Wednesday. I feel like I have more eggs than a mama turtle.

Back to the couch for a snooze fest...

2nd IVF Monitoring Appt

Here's a quick update about today's monitoring appointment...

My lining has increased nicely to 7 mm, almost doubling in thickness since Tuesday. Tons of follicles but none have grown over 10 mm yet, so we are still days away from the egg retrieval. My estradiol level is now 401, showing a steady rise like they hoped for. Overall, a very positive visit!

I'll go back again on Saturday morning for more bloodwork and an ultrasound to check my progress.

1st IVF Monitoring Appt

This morning, we headed to Nashville for my first monitoring appointment of this IVF cycle. They took me straight back to phlebotomy for my bloodwork to check my estradiol level (E2). This test gives a baseline to track how well I am responding to the follicle-stimulating hormone injections, which are used to stimulate multiple follicle growth during IVF.

As I had mentioned in a previous post, our Dr. has tweaked my medication protocol for this cycle -- combining FSH & HMG, versus FSH only. The goal is that I will not become hyperstimulated this time. After 3 days of follicle-stimulating medications, my estradiol level is 52. This is MUCH lower than our first monitoring appt of our earlier fresh cycle, which was 294. Although it shows that I'm far from being hyperstimulated, they would now like to see this level higher. So, for the next two days, I will increase my Gonal-F dosage to 150 units per day and will remain on 75 units of Menopur. Hoping this does the trick without causing my E2 to skyrocket like before. High estradiol level = Sick Amy. For comparison, a typical morning sickness during pregnancy is caused from an E2 around 2000. In my previous fresh cycle, I topped out at a whopping 10,858. Even the word "food" made me want to hurl.

After bloodwork, I had an ultrasound to measure my lining, as well as to count & measure follicles. My lining is 4.0 mm. Looking at 25 follicles altogether so far. Starting to feel more uncomfortable as each day passes. There's only so much room in there! Doc was happy with these numbers. If he's happy, so are we.

I am scheduled to go back on Thursday morning to see how I am responding to the dosage change. Lots of prayers for a favorable follow-up.

IVF Suppression Check

I just had my suppression check appointment. This visit is set up to see if the Lupron injections are doing their job of suppressing my follicle-stimulating hormones, which is checked by blooddraw and ultrasound. My bloodwork showed an estradiol level of 29, which is right on track and shows that I am fully suppressed and ready for the next phase of IVF. My ultrasound showed a favorable tri-layer lining and no ovarian cysts. We were surprised to already see 20 antral follicles -- way above average! Our nurse was very, very pleased with this number. The antral follicle count, along with my age, is the best tool for estimating my ovarian reserve, the expected response to ovarian stimulating drugs, and the chance for a successful pregnancy with IVF.

This appointment also included a trial embryo transfer. With this procedure, the Nurse Practitioner passes a small catheter, much like the one that will eventually have embryos in it, into my cervix and injects a small amount of saline into the uterine cavity. Measurements are taken and notes are made -- basically, drawing a road map for the Dr. to have on the official transfer day to ensure that it goes quickly & smoothly. In cycles past, the trial transfer was very painful. But, my new Nurse Practitioner is a rockstar and it was easy-peasy this go 'round.

I will decrease my Lupron dosage to 5 units, starting tomorrow. Then, on Saturday, I will be adding injections of Gonal-F and Menopur, 75 units each. Originally, they had prepared me for the possibility of 4 injections per day. So, it's a bit of a relief for it to be dropped down to just 3. Never imagined I would be giddy about only having 3 shots a day. It's become sort-of routine by now. I don't cringe at the sight of a needle anymore. Not even the "Mac Daddy" Progesterone ones. Oh my, that will be one that I will definitely post a picture when we get to that step again. Think of it as a straw being pushed into a lemon. Yikes!!

Really feeling positive and calm, despite the madness that the next few weeks will bring. Praying that the good news keeps coming!

Time for a Happy Dance!

Received GREAT news this afternoon!  We have been named recipients of an IVF medication grant from Serono Pharmaceuticals, saving us close to $1,600.  This is such a tremendous blessing to us.  Prayers answered!

You'd better believe I'm celebrating by dancing like a fool in the living room.  Here's a sample of my "happy dance" soundtrack!!

1st Day of Lupron Injections

First injection of our 3rd IVF cycle = DONE!

I'm really excited to get this round underway.  We enjoyed a nice weekend in Colorado with family and came back refreshed and ready to "nip this in the bud".  Yes, I'm giving myself a pass to use Andy Griffith Show references.  I grew up in the real life Mayberry -- Mt. Airy, NC.  So, forgive me if I use lots of old school phrases.  

Today's injection was 10 units of Lupron.  This drug shuts down my hormone system and also suppresses the production of follicle stimulating and leutinizing hormones.  These hormones, through the remainder of our cycle, will be controlled solely by medication as directed by my Dr.  I will continue the injections of 10 units every morning until my suppression check appointment on Oct. 13, where my bloodwork & ultrasound will be evaluated.  In previous cycles, they reduced my Lupron dosage following this appointment.  So, I am anxious to see if this round is any different.  

I'm also going to weekly acupuncture sessions.  Acupuncture is a great stress reliever.  So, for a crazy, stressful process like IVF...it works wonders!  

In the meantime, I'm staying busy with my Etsy store, named My Milk Money.  (www.etsy.com/shop/mymilkmoney).  After receiving lots of requests to sell my handmade items, I've finally taken the plunge and am having a ball!  I've always enjoyed being crafty, so this is pure bliss for me.  I have several orders to work on this afternoon, along with finishing up many new items that will soon be introduced.  I'm putting all profits into our IVF fund and really feel blessed to be able to utilize my love of the arts to help support our journey towards a family.  

We've Got Mail

Our first IVF med, Lupron, arrived today.  Looks like we're almost ready to get this show on the road.  Starting these injections on Oct. 4, so stay tuned for updates!

Hormones & Shots & IVF....Oh My!

We received the first portion of our IVF cycle plan on Friday and since then, it has definitely started to sink in that we're really giving this another try.  I'm feeling excited, nervous, hopeful...and a million other emotions.  

9/19 Began Desogen birth control pills (In Progress)

9/24 Began Z-pack antibiotic (In Progress)

10/4 Begin 10 units of Lupron every morning to be administered by subcutaneous injections into my stomach.  I will continue this dose until the day after my suppression check.

10/10 Take last active birth control pill

10/13 Suppression check appointment & Trial Embryo Transfer.  If everything is okay, I will decrease my Lupron dosage to 5 units, starting on 10/14.  

10/15 Begin FSH & hMG to be administered by subcutaneous injections into my stomach.  Exact dosage will be explained at 10/13 suppression check appt.

10/18 First Estradiol level check & ultrasound 

10/24 Egg Retrieval will be this week.  Exact date will be determined by maturation of follicles.

There are still numerous key steps that will go into our IVF plan.  Many more estradiol level checks and ultrasounds will be thrown in the mix, but the dates will be determined by how my body responds to the medications.  We will not have a date for the embryo transfer until the egg retrieval is complete.  It will depend on the # of eggs that are fertilized and how well the fertilized embryos grow.


On a side note, our awesome nurse told us about a grant that would cover the cost of some of our IVF medications.  We submitted our application on Friday morning and should hear back within 2 weeks.  Crossing our fingers, toes & eyes for good news! 

The Start of Another IVF Cycle

We met with our Dr. at Nashville Fertility Center today.  We discussed my health since surgery and everything checked out great.  With that being said, we are starting another IVF cycle.  We are hopeful that this round will be successful.  I am currently on CD (cycle day) 4 and will begin Desogen birth control pills tonight.  I should receive the plan for the remainder of the cycle in the next few days, which will outline the injection dosages and tentative dates for monitoring appointments, egg retrieval & transfer.


Because I became so hyperstimulated during my last fresh cycle, he will tweak our medication protocol for this round.  He will utilize FSH and HMG, with the goal that the combination of the two drugs will result in "average" egg production (12-15 versus 36 like before) and increase egg quality.  


We left the clinic with excitement but also with a bill for $10,250.  They do not offer financing, so this is completely out-of-pocket.  Sadly, this isn't our total cost.  Our medication charges are separate from the facility fees and will add another $2,000-3,000.  We do have a little bit of a break with an unused cartridge of Follistim left over from a previous cycle.  So, we've got a $900 "credit" sitting in our fridge.  Every little bit helps, for sure.


Bring on the shots!  Let's get this party started!
(Note:  By shots, I mean big, nasty needles) 

Our IVF Journey

Our journey towards starting a family has been one heck of a rollercoaster. Due to Cystic Fibrosis, IVF is our only option for getting pregnant.

In-Vitro Fertilization 101

• A woman is given fertility hormone injections that stimulate her ovaries to produce as many mature eggs as possible (instead of the usual one per monthly cycle). 
• The eggs are retrieved using a suction needle inserted into the ovary. 
• The eggs are fertilized by combining them with sperm in a culture dish. 
• The best-quality embryos are transferred into a woman’s uterus. 
• If all goes well, a normal pregnancy is the result. 

Our first fresh IVF cycle was exactly 1 year ago. I would love to say that it was easy, but it was far from it. I became very hyperstimulated and produced a whopping 36 eggs. Unfortunately, because of the large number, the quality suffered...of the 36, only 9 fertilized (via ICSI). From those, only 5 remained viable on transfer day. So, 2 were transferred and 3 were frozen for a future cycle. Two weeks following the transfer, we took a blood pregnancy test, where we learned that the cycle was unsuccessful.

Then, in December 2010, we began the injections for a frozen cycle. This round was much smoother. Since the embryos were already fertilized, they simply needed to be transferred. I felt great through the entire cycle. When transfer day arrived, 2 of the 3 frozen embryos were viable after thawing. So, both were transferred. Two weeks later, we were over-the-moon excited to find out that we were pregnant. My due date would be October 13. But, at 10 weeks, I suffered a miscarriage and had a D&C on March 8. Until now, I had chosen to keep quiet to most. I feared that even well-meant words would hurt. I could not bear to hear "Don't worry, you're young. You've got plenty of time to try again". I didn't want to try again. I wanted our baby to still be with us. I was still too in shock to completely share my feelings. I only felt that I could talk freely with God. But, even in my quiet time with God, my words were not always kind. I often spoke in bitterness and anguish. My only comfort was believing that our angel baby was in heaven watching over us.

Our Dr. suggested waiting at least one month after the D&C before beginning another fresh cycle. For us, we thought it would be best to take a longer break, to recover physically & emotionally. So, we agreed that we would start again in August. Today was cycle day 8 for our 3rd IVF attempt. There are several prerequisites before beginning each cycle -- various ultrasounds and blood tests. Because of the D&C, a hydrosonogram was one of my prerequisites for this cycle. In this test, saline is injected into the uterine cavity causing it to expand, so that the uterus can be examined via ultrasound. It checks for anything in the uterus that could prevent implantation or prevent a pregnancy from being carried to term. I went in for this test at 9 a.m. this morning. Unfortunately, they found uterine polyps and am scheduled for a hysteroscopy and D&C on Thursday morning to remove them. They will be sent to a pathology lab for examination to ensure that the cells are benign. Today's hydrosonogram results have caused our current IVF cycle to be cancelled. The Dr. advised us that we could begin another cycle 1 month after the surgery. So, we'll see how the next couple of months unfold.

To date, we are topping out at over $40,000 paid out of pocket towards just the chance at starting a family. 

All I can do is remind myself daily that life in Christ does not mean immunity from difficulties, but it offers peace in difficulties. It doesn’t mean that victory is always visible, but it is always God’s plan. One day, we will be blessed with the child that we've been praying for.